Who are we really training?

Ah, potty training.  The best part of motherhood.  After two girls, the pediatrician casually mentioned that I should consider waiting until he is 3. This, of course, did not need to be said, because he is my third child.  And although I have tried to deny every interest he has shown in the toilet, the time has come where he is going once or twice a day of his own accord. And so I took the easy road and let him potty train himself.  Or so I thought. 

Yesterday was a beautiful day outside.  Inside it was just the opposite. I have four small children so you can imagine the state of my house (and I will leave it to your imagination and admit nothing), and we all had attitudes to match. I threw in the towel mid-morning and put them down for early naps.  Of course, Katie read books in her room for, oh, at least five minutes.  Chase nearly put in a full nap, while Miles cut his short.  It was just enough time to throw dinner in the crock pot and gear myself up for the second half of the day. So I fed them again (what else can you do besides try to make them sleep and force feed them when they are grouchy?!), and dragged them to the park. 

We had a great time with our neighborhood friends, and the older kids joined us after school. In fact, we stayed at the park for several hours.  But I did not write this post to brag about my chore-avoidance techniques.  I wrote it to display my amazing detective reasoning skills, which are nothing (but) short of amazing. 

My first clue should have been the first time I picked up Chase and he left a wet spot on me. It was really only damp so I just let it go. My second clue should have been the second time I picked up Chase and he left another wet spot. The third clue should have been the third time … okay; I think it’s safe to say you get my point.  But I had put a new diaper on him right before we came to the park and he really hadn’t been drinking much, so there was no way his diaper was leaking.  As we were leaving the park he left another damp spot, so I just assumed he’d sat in a puddle and his fleece pants had absorbed the muck.  It’s always better to assume you’re covered in park sewage than your own child’s urine. 

We got home and put dinner on the table just in time for Vance to get home and enjoy a nice evening meal with us.  During dinner I picked up Chase for reasons which escape me now (it has been nearly a full day since then; you can’t expect me to remember all the details), but were probably related to putting him back in his chair so he could actually eat dinner, and he left an extremely wet spot on my shirt.  This time I did what all good moms would do after realizing there aren’t any puddles in the house he could have sat in; I smelled my shirt.  Yep. It was definitely urine.  Of course Vance assumed the diaper was leaking and I assured him that was impossible, even though there was no other logical explanation.  Because I’m rational like that.  But the detective in me realized something just wasn’t adding up. 

After dinner I proceeded to get Miles ready for bed.  As I was busily surfing the internet blocking the doorway so the newly diapered and pajama-ed baby couldn’t escape, Katie came up the stairs proclaiming that I had to see the disgusting thing that Chase had done.  She was in total disbelief as she repeated over and over “you have to see this!” while never giving any clues to what was going on.  As I made my way downstairs, Vance made his way up with a child whose hands were covered in brown stuff.  He ruined Katie’s carefully constructed suspense by proclaiming that Chase had decided to play in his diaper. Although the evidence was right there in front of me, I still couldn’t quite believe it.  If it were Katie there would be no question.  But this was not really in line with Chase’s typical behavior.  Regardless, there was a mess to clean up. I will spare you most of the details, except one because it is too important to omit.  As I went to remove his pants, I discovered that he either lifted a large portion of fecal matter out of the diaper and into his pants, or the diaper had leaked.  But then I saw the underwear. And suddenly everything made sense. 

I was right!  His diaper was NOT leaking, and he had NOT stuck his hand in his own feces.  Flashback to after naps:  Chase had successfully used the bathroom.  I made the executive decision that his old diaper was wet enough to warrant a new one in light of our plans to spend the (entire) afternoon at the park.  To save time, I pulled up the underwear he’d been wearing over his diaper, along with his pants, so he could finish eating while I ran upstairs to get a diaper.   Somewhere along the way I must have gotten distracted.  I know this because of all the things I cleaned up last night, one of those was NOT a diaper.  But hey.  At least I saved $0.15. So if your child wants to potty train himself, even though it sounds so easy, such efforts should continually be denied at least until you can remember what you did 30 seconds ago.  Or until he is 3.

It's a Rainy, Rainy Day

But that’s okay

We’re gonna have fun anyway

On this Rainy, Rainy Day

We’ll laugh and play

It’s a Rainy, Rainy Day.

Go get your raincoat, and put your boots on—

We’ll go puddle jumping.

Twirl our umbrellas and do a rain dance

Splish and splash with a song and a laugh.

It’s a Rainy, Rainy Day
But that’s okay
We’re gonna have fun anyway
On this Rainy, Rainy Day
We’ll laugh and play
It’s a Rainy, Rainy Day.

Go get your shovel, and bring a good pail

We’ll make muddy muffins

Never know what we’ll find, out walking

Treasure’s found when the rain comes down. 

It’s a Rainy, Rainy Day

But that’s okay
We’re gonna have fun anyway
On this Rainy, Rainy Day
We’ll laugh and play
It’s a Rainy, Rainy Day.

The More Prepared You Are, The Luckier You Get

This year for Father's Day I decided that, instead of a piece of paper saying, "Here is what I thought about giving you but not soon enough to make it materialize by today ..." I would actually have everything physically there and wrapped for Vance to open.  I have tried this sort of thing before only to be met with frustration and failure, but I knew it had to be done because those notes never transform themselves from paper to presents.  Besides, it might be a while before my life is at a point where I can handle a few extracurricular activities.

The first gift was easy.  I just had to click the link Vance sent me and order the white running visor.  I bought it from the cheapest seller, but then found out it wouldn't ship out for another month.  Oh well, at least I could say I actually ordered it early enough to get here on time under normal circumstances.  Then the wind blew a bit of luck my way and a few days later I got an email that said it would arrive a few days before I needed it. Perfect.  Gift 1? Check.

The 2 weeks before Father's Day we mostly spent up at my parent's house helping my mom and sister watch my 3 nephews while their parents packed to move to California.  It was there that the girls built a giant papier-mâché volcano.  I was lucky enough to be able to make the mess there and come home to a clean kitchen!  They painted it with a cornstarch and water mixture, colored with very old packets of kool-aid.  There were a few holes where we could see newspaper so we filled them in with spray paint.  They haven't had a chance to "displode" it with Daddy yet (says Mylah), but we'll be sure to post pictures and video when they do! Gift 2? Check.

The next thing I wanted to do for Vance was make videos of the girls talking about him.  This is something I requested he do for me on Mother's Day.  The video Vance made turned out really cute and hilarious, even though it didn't go quite as he had planned.  I tried a few different things this time around, and some things turned out better but some things were worse.  Luck was on my side and I got a few hilarious responses, and even a few frames with Katie sitting still.  Now we have documented the girls and their cuteness at this age, and a few things they like that are relatively related to Mommy and Daddy.  So far we just have raw footage of both sets of interviews, but we will make a new post once we have edited them down to the good stuff. Gift 3? Check.

The final thing I needed to do was get more pictures of the girls for Vance's office.  I have had an empty collage frame sitting around for at least 2 years.  I wanted to fill it with cute pictures of the girls.  Instead of sorting through all of our old picture files, I decided to take out our new camera and do a photo shoot with Mylah and Katie.  We had already done the interviews (Vance was at a bachelor party all night) and I knew their attention was growing thin.  To make up for that and save time, I opted for personality shots, which means I didn't change their clothes or fix their hair. This was just going to be the girls in their true, end-of-day form. I did, however, try to crop out Katie's shorts whenever possible, as they were somewhat dirty and distracting. And keep in mind they dress themselves ... but it sure made for some colorful shots!

I took them to the backyard and Mylah immediately started climbing on the deck fixtures, so I just started taking pictures.  The only guidance they got was when I had them stand back to back in front of the brick and when I had them put their cheeks together on the stairs.  Everything else was their idea.  Usually they are completely uncooperative, refusing to even face the camera. Katie was hardly different than normal, but with her smile and craziness I tend to get better shots of her in fewer tries anyway.  I was lucky that Mylah was willing to be cute and even tone down her goofy smile and unusually weird faces she likes to make, and we got some great shots of her as well.  We will probably load all of the shots to our picasa site as well, so you can get some good laughs.  Like at the pic of Katie climbing onto the railing and kicking Mylah square in the face.  Here are the best of the best, in their post-processed form. Enjoy!

I got the pictures prepared, edited, and uploaded for printing with plenty of time to pick them up.  But for some reason they weren't going to be ready for a day, even with the 1-hour photo selection.  Odd.  I figured they'd probably be ready anyway, since I had 6 hours to spare.  And they were.  Except the order had somehow messed up and instead of submitting the new photos, re-ordered 2 pictures I had printed weeks ago.  I frantically called Walgreens at 8:30 pm to figure out what happened and luckily I was able to re-submit my order, just in time to have it printed and picked it up Saturday night at 9:58 pm.  With Vance in the car.  Conveniently, I had the 2 unwanted photos to show him so he didn't know my little secret ... Gift 4? Check. With 2 minutes to spare :)

Happy Father's Day!!

Isn't It About ... TIME

Literally.  Isn't it about time I procrastinated my housework by doing something useful like recording a few words about our family at least once a year? Or once every two years ... I mean, I wouldn't want to litter cyberspace with my blutter (that would be blog and clutter for those who aren't on my same wavelength).  And since a picture is worth a thousand words, and I didn't take my nice camera with me yesterday, I guess this post is going to be long. But what's new?

Mylah is.  Actually, that's what inspired me to make note of my excursion yesterday. She first changed about two weeks before Katie was born into the kind of child I expected to have once the new baby came.  So I'm not sure if I can blame it on her, the terrible two's, a combination of those, or the fact that I just wasn't the most patient sleep-deprived mom.  Or all of the above.  Since then I have seen spurts of the happy, bubbly, not-so-shy little girl who had a little a curl right in the middle of her forehead, but lately it has mostly been horrid.  Last night, however, she was really, really good.

After dinner Vance took the girls outside to play, which eventually turned into him flying the helicopter and the girls burying themselves in the sandbox.  Literally.  I couldn't believe there was any sand left in the box when they came inside. Mylah went to use the bathroom and apparently took it upon herself to wash off her filthy feet in the sink all by herself.  I think we can all agree that this story would be far more horrific if it had been Katie, so I'm counting my blessings.  But I went in the bathroom to find that the sandbox had been relocated, with a little extra rain.  I admit I overreacted a tad when I first caught a glimpse, but calmed myself as I went upstairs to get the cleaning supplies.  I let Mylah take care of her mess, and she was uncannily willing.  And she was really good at it too (for a 4-year-old ... I still had to go over it again to remove ALL of the grit).

After that she went straight upstairs and got her pajamas on not only without being asked, but without needing pushing, prodding, or encouragement.  She brushed her teeth quickly and quietly, then went to her room and knelt down for family prayer and scriptures. She even apologized sincerely for making a mess, all the while cuddling up to me.  This would only surprise you if you have heard her rant and rave about how she is going to take all my toys away, send me to my room, not let me play with her, kick me out of the house, pull off my arms, or even kill me (I was a tad horrified the day this one came out of her mouth) in response to me requesting something as small as putting her shoes and coat on.  And she even eagerly tidied up her room before bed, despite most of the destruction being Katie's responsibility.

As she was tucked in her purple Tinkerbell bed, smiling and bubbly, just before I read her bible stories and nursery rhymes I asked her why she was so happy.  I expected to hear something about me actually waking up and getting out of bed before she did that morning (hey I'm pregnant ... give me a break!), taking her to the Discovery Gateway Children's Museum first thing and letting her play to her hearts content, getting to act as one of the three little pigs and outsmarting Katie the big bad wolf, the cute ceramic pitcher she got to paint at the Creative Kids class, walking hand-in-hand with her mom and sister in the rain, splashing in puddles, riding the TRAX train downtown, crossing every bridge over the mini river that runs through City Creek (if you haven't been downtown yet, you should go; it is amazing), eating at mmmm McDonald's for lunch, playing on the dinosaur slides in the children's play area, riding the escalators up and down, up and down, up and down, cuddling at the TRAX station because I let her wear a skirt even though it was cold and rainy outside, riding the TRAX train again, getting to play a little longer at the museum since the paint on the pitchers was so thick it hadn't quite dried enough to handle yet, falling asleep in her car seat on the way home, getting carried up to bed and napping for an hour, making delicious focaccia bread with Mommy and Katie, and only partaking of said bread for dinner, or Daddy coming home and letting her bury herself in the sandbox. But no. None of that.

Her answer surprised me. "Because my room is clean!" I wasn't sure I believed her, so I asked for clarification.  "I'm happy because I kept my room clean." Mind you it's only been a day or two, but apparently this is is what makes her happy. I know that I am happier when my house is clean and my work is done, but since a clean room hasn't always made her so happy in the past, and she was happy before we tidied up, I can't help but wonder, and maybe you'll agree, isn't it about time?

 The time we spend making goofy Mr. Potato Head faces, 

 the time we spend creating things with them, 

 the time we spend cleaning up after said creations, 

 the time we spend just watching so we don't disrupt their creativity, 

 the time we spend planning activities that will make them smile, 

 the time we take driving, walking, or biking them around,

 the time we spend taking them to lunch at the City Creek food court, 

 and making sure their sandwich has 3 pickles, not just 2, 

 the time we spend playing with them, even if the dinosaurs are extinct, 

 the time we spend helping them soar to new heights, 

 the time we spend frantically searching for them in a crowded mall because we think they are lost, but they are really just hiding in an egg, 

 the time we spend trying to capture precious moments with a mediocre phone camera in bad lighting, 

and the time we take to love them and raise them to become the wonderful people they were born to be!

Well maybe for her a clean room is happiness, but for me it's the time I spend with my beautiful family that makes me happy!

Pre-school

I have been contemplating pre-school options for Mylah. She has 2 years before she starts kindergarten so I could always wait a year, but all her neighborhood friends are already in preschool or starting next year. Theoretically I would like to teach her because I can cover most topics myself. But if the last 3 months is a reflection of how well that would go then it just isn't going to happen. Besides, she doesn't respond well to me trying to teach her things. It also has to be a time when Katie is sleeping and she isn't, which only happens when I need them to both be asleep at the same time, which means I have other things to attend to. But it costs a lot of money. I have found the two cheapest options to be $65/month, but I'm not sure what will work best for her. There is no doubt she could use the extra social interaction, but I don't want to pay that much for two 2-hour play dates a week.

So far Mylah knows her ABCs, recognizes capital letters and most lower case, knows her letter sounds, counts to 20, can usually count items accurately, and is really good at pretend play. Her art is pretty good and she can write most capital letters and is learning to write lower case and numbers. She is ahead in pre-literacy, on par for math, but a bit behind in science, days of the week, months, etc.

Option 1: The tried and true neighborhood lady that has taught preschool for 40 years or so. This includes 15 minute periods of pledge of allegiance/days/calendar/weather, daily theme (animals, letters, numbers, etc.), art projects, snack and free play, muscle activity/gym time/recess, and music/story time. The focus is on the alphabet, letter recognition, and phonics. They also learn to count to 20 or 25. The cost goes up to $80 if I can get her into the 4-year-old class with her friend which is 3 days a week. In that class they learn to write letters also but I am unclear on what else. It's where most of the neighborhood kids go and she's been doing it for years and seemed really nice over the phone. She even said I could stay too if Mylah wouldn't let me go :) I don't know what the class size is but she is popular so I'm betting not small, but it is in her house so it's probably not overly large either.

Option 2: The school district option held at Butler elementary, integrated with developmentally delayed kids. Basically they use normal kids to help the delayed children learn better. Research says those children do better when combined with normal students, hence mainstreaming. Not sure this is the best option for Mylah's social growth but maybe it would be good for her to learn how to help all sorts of people. It is also 2 days a week for about 2 hours. They use the "High Scope" curriculum which is researched based and sounds very intriguing. It is sequential so it can be tailored to individual abilities which I like, however the language and literacy component still focuses on what Mylah already knows. But perhaps they also have the elementary module and will teach her how to read. :) You can check out their website at http://www.highscope.org but the main idea is that they use active learning and encourage child initiated learning. I wondered how well that can be carried out in a big group, but it appears that Mylah will be in a class with 2 twin boys, who I'm assuming are developmentally delayed. Small class size=more attention, although it may be given to the other two boys unless there is more than 1 adult.

Honestly that sounds great for Mylah. In her earlier years before Katie she learned very quickly when I took opportunities to teach her as we played about colors, shapes, etc. But when I sit her down to formally teach her letters, numbers, and how to write, she kind of zones out. She looks that way at church, too, but it may be because she is tired. These classes are also afternoon classes (church is 11-2) so she'll just have to start sleeping better at night!!!! I also think she'll have a better chance of not making me stay if she goes with her friends. I don't know. Most of all I want Mylah to learn things that I can’t teach her and to be challenged mentally and socially. What do you think?

Downtown Dayz

It took me nearly an hour to get home. I know better than to travel south on I-15 during rush hour, I just didn't realize that rush hour started before 4 pm! The girls were having too much fun, and resisted behind heavy, tired eyes that were begging for sleep. It didn't help that I had forgotten their pictures from art class. After dragging them all the way out to the car in the parking garage, I remembered the beautiful watercolors were left drying on the rack as I started buckling Mylah into her car seat. I took her back out and together we pushed Katie, who was fortunately still in the stroller, back inside Discovery Gateway.  As I frantically searched the racks, I saw no sign of Katie and Mylah's pages. I thought about passing one off as Mylah’s, but she knew it wasn't hers and I didn't want to take another child's artwork. Contemplating what to do next, I spied another rack on the opposite wall that held the precious paintings.  We left for the second time a few minutes after my exit goal time of 4 pm.  But apparently that is a shift change for everyone working at the Gateway.  There were cars lined up around the entire perimeter of the garage, when 10 minutes earlier all the cars had been neatly parked.  After buckling the kids down, we backed up into the line and waited and waited and waited.  I finally turned the ignition off while we waited some more.  There were only 5 cars in front of us, but none of the exit circle cars were taking turns to let us in.  Eventually we made it out without dying from carbon monoxide poisoning. 

We inched along 300 west, merged everyone into the left lane thanks to some construction work, then attempted to turn right onto 500 south from the left lane. But it was okay; everybody was doing it! Then the 500 west stop light was out so we had the privilege of treating it like a 4-way stop. I am thankful for the invention of traffic lights. I am not thankful for the invention of rush hour. We averaged 25 mph with a max of just under 40 mph until I exited onto I-215 … of course that’s when traffic suddenly resumed normal speeds … after I exited. 

The extra time was great for the girls’ naps though.  Mylah was so excited to see the Salt Lake Temple that she chose to stop there even if it meant not playing at the children’s museum.  The girls had a blast navigating the granite steps up to the giant doors and trying to get in.  “No one’s answering,” complained Mylah.  “That’s because we don’t use this door to get in.” “What door do they use?”  “The one over there,” I said, pointing abstractly towards the ‘official’ entrance.  Of course she wanted to go over there but got distracted by the reflection pond.  The girls thought all the water features were great, except that I wouldn’t let them play in them.  But other than that Mylah quite enjoyed strolling Katie around the temple grounds.  The main attraction, however, was the foot powered drinking fountain.  Even I appreciated the fact that it spurted enough water to satisfy thirst without having to stand there for 5 minutes.

The TRAX train was the real main attraction though.  We parked at the Gateway that morning because I knew I could get a $2 parking validation at Discovery Gateway.  Of course that was after I foolishly navigated Main Street to double check my parking options.  1 hour limited metered parking?  No thanks.  Free charging station for electric cars?  Not eligible.  30 minute parking, freight license required?  I’d probably get caught.  2 hour free parking in a dangerous looking area with a long walk to Gallivan plaza?  I’ll pass.  Thank you covered parking, kitty corner to the TRAX station, for being my cheapest option. 

Mylah was such a big girl for climbing up the steep stairs onto the train all by herself while I carried Katie in the stroller.  She was ecstatic about riding the train and didn’t want to get off.  We probably could have spent the day riding around downtown.  Imagine if we took her outside of the free zone, where the train actually gets going!  But she was cooperative to get off at Gallivan Plaza for Radio Disney Days, which is why we went downtown in the first place.  It was quite an event!  It was mostly free, except for the kiddie train ride (who needs that when you have TRAX for free?), and the balloon creatures (which I think they would have loved, but so not worth it).  Unfortunately I missed the memo that it was a water party, so my girls were not dressed to get wet.  It’s okay; we only missed out on the bounce house water slide, the waterfall, and the fire hose. 

But we did get to wait 45 minutes in line for the dry bounce house, only to have a big kid trample Katie on the way in and discourage her from participating at all.  Mylah had to deal with 7 other bigger kids but held her own as she savored her 6 minute turn.  (Actually, she tried to get off a couple times, but I convinced her to stay on since we had waited so long.  I think she had fun in the long run ;-) The highlights were the bubble machine, getting string cheese from the Dairy Council Cow, drinking from water guns, splashing in the aftermath of the fire hose, eating lunch, the petting zoo, a bite of ice cream, and buckling the stroller.  Oh, and the free sample bag of “all-natural” licorice.  Highly recommended.